Post your "your mum" cusses here... Look on google or make your own one up.

Your mum's so dumb, I told her to take out the trash and she moved.

Anyone...

'Ey, Abdirauf, your moma's so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed a whole season of The Simpsons

your mommas so fat, when she turns over in bed she burns her a*se on the light bulb

Well your momma's so old she went to school with Jesus

j00R M0Mm42 50 7HIcK, 5H3 k4N7 R34d L337

Well YOUR momma's so ugly when you were born, the doctor slapped HER!

Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer

your mamma so fat that i have to roll over twice to get off her

Your momma's so dumb she bought a PS3!

Your mum's like a petrol station, I pay she pumps!

I ate your mum.

ur momma's so fat, i had to drive round her and ran out of petrol!!

Well YOUR momma's so dumb she bought an NES rather than a Wii!

Your mum soooo fat she is welll fat

your momma's so fat she; knocked the earth out of orbit *then farted it back in again*

your momma's so fat when she sunbathes she doubles as an airport and planes land on her

your momma's so fat when she craps it takes out the whole street

your momma's so fat when she walks it causes earth quakes

your momma's so fat when she farts it causes mass destruction

your momma's so fat when she farted it blew out the sun like a candle

your momma's so fat she knocked half of britain in the ocean

your momma's so fat she sleeps on a football pitch

your momma's so fat her living room is a drive in cinema, her ass takes up the whole car park



these are all original pug jokes copyright material all rights reserved

**cries**

im telling my mummy....

your mamma`s so fat i gotta tie a rope to me foot to find my way back out

your mamma`a so fat she goes to the car wash for a shower

Your momma's so ugly when your dad's in the room he makes her wear a bag on her head.

your momma's so fat your dad had to extend the house a mile or two

your momma's so fat her shopping cart is a fork lift

your momma's so fat her breakfast could feed the nation

your momma's so fat you can no longer tell what end is what

your momma's so fat she won the largest whale in the world competition

your momma's so fat when swimming at the beach she caused a Tsunami

your momma's so fat she needs her own postal code

your momma's so fat her furniture is made from reinforced concrete

your momma's so fat she gets used as a *100 person at a time* bouncy castle

your momma's so fat the world stoped spining and started wobbiling

your momma's so fat she puts a whale to shame

your momma's so fat the people of newyork thought a king kong film was being made

your momma's so fat her car is a eighteen wheeler truck

your momma's so fat the alien ufo couldent abduct her

your momma's so fat astomoners thought a plannet had hit the earth

your momma's so fat her farts could wipe out the universe

your momma's so fat we found out that she is what causes a solar eclipse

your momma's so fat ? to be continued

You're totally getting them off the net

Your mom's so fat, she wanted a water bed, so the company through a blanket over the atlantic ocean.
Your momma's so fat that she irons her clothes on the driveway.
Your momma's so old AND fat that she found an Intellivision in her ass fat.
Your momma's so scary, the King took one look at her and frowned.

Your momma's so old, in her day they used holes in the ground as toilets

Your mum's so ugly , her parent's had to look away and feed her rice with a slingshot.

Your mum's like a mobile phone, first she was Virgin now she's pay as you go.

HARSH! I'm totally using that one

Which one?

Your mum's so fat , when she walked past the telly I missed 3 episodes.

The mobile one

My telly one was better, I said a whole season of The Simpsons

your momma so dumb she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death

your mommas so fat when she goes to the beach green peace try and throw her back in

nope i think all of my things up my self

ok some may have been said first but i dont cheat hehe

Oh i ment wot i said my jokes are copyright protected by pugman jokes inc
lol just "kiddin" hehe



ok continues with originaly thought of jokes

your momma's so old she looks like our ancestors the cave men

your momma's so fat she made oprera look like a bikini model

your momma's so ugly your dad is frankenstien *what!!! thats all she could pull* at the time

your momma's so ugly and fat starwars fans thought she was Droopy McCool and wanted autographs

your momma's so dam ugly not even horror movie directors would use her as the monster in the films

your momma's so fat she absorbs any thing that touches her

your momma's so ugly Scientists thought they found a new species of animal

your momma's such a hoe she takes the intire usa in a night for *free*


My jokes rule......

your momma is..... just........ no....

**shudders**

Your mum's so dumb, she was thought I was an arcade game, she gave me coins and started playing with my joystick.

I thought that one up myself!!!

Abdirauf, I think she just got confused by the "Will allow handjobs for coins" sign I stuck on the wall behind you.

LOL.

Thankyou, thankyou, I'm here till Friday. Try the ribs

**pokes a stick into jensons ribs**

mmmm.... squidgy human......

Get your filthy stick off me you damn dirty HUMAN!

Your mum is so fat, she makes King Kong look like an action figure.

i'm not even gonna start on ur momma.......

im not that nasty....

This whole topic is to post your 'your mamma' cusses.

but.... but.....

i cant say these things......

You must learn the art of mother-cussing. Type a cuss and you will be freed from the evil clutches of morality!

All docters slap babies its to make sure they know how to breath!!


But anyways....


Your mommas So Fat...
when she step on the Weighing Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to fill in the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she makes Olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... two belly's.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.



p.s: sorry bout its length

Your mum is a retard for allowing you to be born and then providing you with internet acess to wank and then make this thread.

Yo mamma's soo ugly, shes only been married ONCE!!!!

Yo mamma's soo poor her tits are real!!!

Yo mamma's soo fat she uses the whole of Mexico as a tanning bed
( LOL. Anyone seen Malibu's most wanted?)


Yo mamma's sooooooo ugly even Chuck Norris is scared of her!!!
Damn!!! Thats one ugly be-atch!!!!

Malibu's most wanted!! Wot a movie, i would watch over and over and over again but by then i'll more then likely be fed up of it.

Your mom is so fat, her ass is known as the moon.

Your mom is so old that she ate all the dinosaurs.

Your mom is so fat that you have to call NASA to visit her head.

ur mums like a bolling ball, she gets finguerd 3 times a day goes down a dark alley and comes back for more.


your mums armpits are so hairy it looks like shes got bob marly in a headlock.

Your mum's so skinny I thought she was a cheese string.

thats only funny coz it stupid

LOL.