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Posted by: abdirauf Nov 24 2006, 07:51 PM

Post your "your mum" cusses here... Look on google or make your own one up.

Your mum's so dumb, I told her to take out the trash and she moved.

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 24 2006, 08:01 PM

Anyone...

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 24 2006, 09:43 PM

'Ey, Abdirauf, your moma's so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed a whole season of The Simpsons

Posted by: davemm Nov 24 2006, 09:50 PM

your mommas so fat, when she turns over in bed she burns her a*se on the light bulb

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 24 2006, 10:00 PM

Well your momma's so old she went to school with Jesus

Posted by: davemm Nov 24 2006, 10:03 PM

j00R M0Mm42 50 7HIcK, 5H3 k4N7 R34d L337

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 24 2006, 11:30 PM

Well YOUR momma's so ugly when you were born, the doctor slapped HER!

Posted by: davemm Nov 24 2006, 11:43 PM

Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer

Posted by: _steve_ Nov 24 2006, 11:51 PM

your mamma so fat that i have to roll over twice to get off her

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 12:28 AM

Your momma's so dumb she bought a PS3!

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 25 2006, 12:44 AM

Your mum's like a petrol station, I pay she pumps!

Posted by: unhappychild Nov 25 2006, 01:38 AM

I ate your mum.

Posted by: Tommi Nov 25 2006, 01:45 AM

ur momma's so fat, i had to drive round her and ran out of petrol!!

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 02:14 AM

Well YOUR momma's so dumb she bought an NES rather than a Wii!

Posted by: 2006 Nov 25 2006, 09:01 AM

Your mum soooo fat she is welll fat

Posted by: puggster Nov 25 2006, 10:27 AM

your momma's so fat she; knocked the earth out of orbit *then farted it back in again*

your momma's so fat when she sunbathes she doubles as an airport and planes land on her

your momma's so fat when she craps it takes out the whole street

your momma's so fat when she walks it causes earth quakes

your momma's so fat when she farts it causes mass destruction

your momma's so fat when she farted it blew out the sun like a candle

your momma's so fat she knocked half of britain in the ocean

your momma's so fat she sleeps on a football pitch

your momma's so fat her living room is a drive in cinema, her ass takes up the whole car park



these are all original pug jokes copyright material all rights reserved

Posted by: Tommi Nov 25 2006, 11:00 AM

**cries**

im telling my mummy....

Posted by: _steve_ Nov 25 2006, 12:06 PM

your mamma`s so fat i gotta tie a rope to me foot to find my way back out

your mamma`a so fat she goes to the car wash for a shower

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 01:36 PM

Your momma's so ugly when your dad's in the room he makes her wear a bag on her head.

Posted by: puggster Nov 25 2006, 04:03 PM

your momma's so fat your dad had to extend the house a mile or two

your momma's so fat her shopping cart is a fork lift

your momma's so fat her breakfast could feed the nation

your momma's so fat you can no longer tell what end is what

your momma's so fat she won the largest whale in the world competition

your momma's so fat when swimming at the beach she caused a Tsunami

your momma's so fat she needs her own postal code

your momma's so fat her furniture is made from reinforced concrete

your momma's so fat she gets used as a *100 person at a time* bouncy castle

your momma's so fat the world stoped spining and started wobbiling

your momma's so fat she puts a whale to shame

your momma's so fat the people of newyork thought a king kong film was being made

your momma's so fat her car is a eighteen wheeler truck

your momma's so fat the alien ufo couldent abduct her

your momma's so fat astomoners thought a plannet had hit the earth

your momma's so fat her farts could wipe out the universe

your momma's so fat we found out that she is what causes a solar eclipse

your momma's so fat ? to be continued

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 05:07 PM

You're totally getting them off the net

Posted by: Poppa Nov 25 2006, 05:11 PM

Your mom's so fat, she wanted a water bed, so the company through a blanket over the atlantic ocean.
Your momma's so fat that she irons her clothes on the driveway.
Your momma's so old AND fat that she found an Intellivision in her ass fat.
Your momma's so scary, the King took one look at her and frowned.

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 05:13 PM

Your momma's so old, in her day they used holes in the ground as toilets

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 25 2006, 07:44 PM

Your mum's so ugly , her parent's had to look away and feed her rice with a slingshot.

Your mum's like a mobile phone, first she was Virgin now she's pay as you go.

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 08:56 PM

HARSH! I'm totally using that one

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 25 2006, 09:24 PM

Which one?

Your mum's so fat , when she walked past the telly I missed 3 episodes.

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 25 2006, 09:44 PM

The mobile one

My telly one was better, I said a whole season of The Simpsons

Posted by: freedom1314 Nov 25 2006, 11:53 PM

your momma so dumb she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death

your mommas so fat when she goes to the beach green peace try and throw her back in

Posted by: puggster Nov 26 2006, 09:01 AM

nope i think all of my things up my self

ok some may have been said first but i dont cheat hehe

Oh i ment wot i said my jokes are copyright protected by pugman jokes inc
lol just "kiddin" hehe



ok continues with originaly thought of jokes

your momma's so old she looks like our ancestors the cave men

your momma's so fat she made oprera look like a bikini model

your momma's so ugly your dad is frankenstien *what!!! thats all she could pull* at the time

your momma's so ugly and fat starwars fans thought she was Droopy McCool and wanted autographs

your momma's so dam ugly not even horror movie directors would use her as the monster in the films

your momma's so fat she absorbs any thing that touches her

your momma's so ugly Scientists thought they found a new species of animal

your momma's such a hoe she takes the intire usa in a night for *free*


My jokes rule......

Posted by: Tommi Nov 26 2006, 02:04 PM

your momma is..... just........ no....

**shudders**

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 26 2006, 02:40 PM

Your mum's so dumb, she was thought I was an arcade game, she gave me coins and started playing with my joystick.

I thought that one up myself!!!

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 26 2006, 02:50 PM

Abdirauf, I think she just got confused by the "Will allow handjobs for coins" sign I stuck on the wall behind you.

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 26 2006, 03:59 PM

LOL.

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 26 2006, 04:08 PM

Thankyou, thankyou, I'm here till Friday. Try the ribs

Posted by: Tommi Nov 26 2006, 04:16 PM

**pokes a stick into jensons ribs**

mmmm.... squidgy human......

Posted by: Jensonb Nov 26 2006, 04:46 PM

Get your filthy stick off me you damn dirty HUMAN!

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 26 2006, 11:11 PM

Your mum is so fat, she makes King Kong look like an action figure.

Posted by: Tommi Nov 26 2006, 11:42 PM

i'm not even gonna start on ur momma.......

im not that nasty....

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 26 2006, 11:50 PM

This whole topic is to post your 'your mamma' cusses.

Posted by: Tommi Nov 26 2006, 11:59 PM

but.... but.....

i cant say these things......

Posted by: abdirauf Nov 27 2006, 12:04 AM

You must learn the art of mother-cussing. Type a cuss and you will be freed from the evil clutches of morality!

Posted by: The Smidget May 26 2007, 11:42 PM

All docters slap babies its to make sure they know how to breath!!


But anyways....


Your mommas So Fat...
when she step on the Weighing Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to fill in the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she makes Olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... two belly's.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.



p.s: sorry bout its length

Posted by: unhappychild May 27 2007, 12:15 AM

Your mum is a retard for allowing you to be born and then providing you with internet acess to wank and then make this thread.

Posted by: RyanTheRude May 27 2007, 01:17 AM

Yo mamma's soo ugly, shes only been married ONCE!!!!

Yo mamma's soo poor her tits are real!!!

Yo mamma's soo fat she uses the whole of Mexico as a tanning bed
( LOL. Anyone seen Malibu's most wanted?)


Yo mamma's sooooooo ugly even Chuck Norris is scared of her!!!
Damn!!! Thats one ugly be-atch!!!!

Posted by: The Smidget May 27 2007, 03:30 PM

Malibu's most wanted!! Wot a movie, i would watch over and over and over again but by then i'll more then likely be fed up of it.

Posted by: tedades May 28 2007, 12:12 AM

Your mom is so fat, her ass is known as the moon.

Your mom is so old that she ate all the dinosaurs.

Your mom is so fat that you have to call NASA to visit her head.

Posted by: andy big May 28 2007, 08:05 PM

ur mums like a bolling ball, she gets finguerd 3 times a day goes down a dark alley and comes back for more.


your mums armpits are so hairy it looks like shes got bob marly in a headlock.

Posted by: abdirauf May 28 2007, 08:10 PM

Your mum's so skinny I thought she was a cheese string.

Posted by: The Smidget May 28 2007, 08:59 PM

thats only funny coz it stupid

Posted by: abdirauf May 28 2007, 10:31 PM

LOL.

Posted by: Kane Mar 12 2009, 09:01 PM

Your mum is so slim, when I put her in a bottle she poured out as liquid.

Your mum is so old, she owes Jesus $5

Your mum is so fat when she broke her leg, Gravy poured out

Your mum is so old, she went to school with Jesus

Your mum is so dumb when she went into Currys, she ordered a Meat Curry.

Your mum is so ugly, even a Horror film director wouldn't use her.

Your mum is so ugly she got 100 years back luck for breaking every mirror in her house.

Your mum is so ugly, her make-up brand is called 'Why Bother?'

Your mum is so fat, the country finished a Marathon because she finished a 50m race

Your mum is so fat, people jog around her for exercise

Your mum is so old, she's the mother of God

Your mum is so fat, she squeezed through the ocean

Your mum is so fat, her ass takes up the whole street

Your mum is so slim, she can't wash because she dodges the water

Your mum is so fat, she irons her clothes on the pavement

Your mum is so dumb, she went into a chair shop and sat on the floor

Your mums teeth are so yellow, they can butter a whole loaf of bread

Your mums teeth are so yellow, she makes the sun look pale

Your mums teeth are so yellow, she don't need a light in the dark

Your mum is so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off her

Your mum is so ugly, she don't need make-up to be in a Resident Evil film

Your mum is so ugly, she looks like a zombie already

Your mum is so fat when she went on a lift, she pressed up but went down

Your mum gets engaged more times than BT

Posted by: Ellmiester Mar 13 2009, 01:30 PM

Bleedin' Hell Kane

Are all your posts in this one thread? lol

Posted by: Stonker Mar 13 2009, 01:35 PM

Am I showing my age by saying that we should shut this thread off now?

Posted by: Ellmiester Mar 13 2009, 01:45 PM

Yeah, I think it's past its sell by date tbh.

Posted by: Tommi Mar 13 2009, 05:44 PM

Agreed, merged all Kanes posts too.

Could be classed as spamming but meh, I let it slide...

Posted by: Trevsweb Mar 16 2009, 02:19 PM

lol looks like this is the most visited topic on the forums lol